I dont know what to do

The lack of communication between us is killing me, for the first time in years I feel like our friendship is slipping away from me and us.

I want to tell you the truth, to your face, give you a slap around the face and shout "I DO FUCKING EXIST!!"

You have to do everything on your own. Everything serious that happens to you, and that you feel, you never tell me, you don't ring me when you need to talk, as you know that I will calm you down...because I am able to. No you fucking record how you feel on Tumblr. Its like you would rather tell the entire world, what you are threatening to do to yourself, than rather tell your best friend. Every time I have to find out information from you about how you feel,  I have to extract it all out of you. I cant do this anymore.

I want to be the first person you ring if you are unable to get in contact with George, if you EVER feel like that again.

I do not want to be the last person to know anymore. It is like I have no importance what so ever in your life.

I know after you read this you will be like "fuck I'm a shit friend, I'm a shit girlfriend" But you are not. You are my sister, you are amazing. I'm so lucky to have you as my friend. And George is so lucky to have you as a girlfriend.You just need to have a proper talk with me. Set your priorities right. I am not a stranger to you. I want to feel as though you do give a fuck if I disappeared. As right now I feel as though you couldn't care less. Just texting me once in a while isn't much to show for a 14 year old friendship. Seeing you once a week does not give either of us enough time to chat long enough.

I just want some effort between us.

And yes the next time I see you I want an explanation for all that happened last night and I want you to promise me  that you will not hate me for my honest opinion. I hope you do not hate me for writing this.

I love you though, unconditionally always.