Sometimes I forget myself

I have an overwhelming bout of emotion, that I cannot handle.

I am hypocritical.

I tell others off for their misery, while I cry with not one strong reason.

I guess it is because I am lonely, something that I thought I was handling.

It creeps up behind me when I am not suspecting, laying its filthy fingers on my shoulders, tracing circles on my back. Making me buckle under the pressure.

I am ashamed of myself.
I did something I hadn't done in months.
I feel I deserved this pain, yet the other part of me is yelling at me, screaming.
Its fading now.
Yet there is a throbbing, burning pain, not only on my wound mentally but along my wrist.
Like a hand grasping it, tightly, a Chinese burn.

My head hurts, I think of all the bad things I am capable of.

I sicken myself.

I'm sorry.