Butterfly

My Auntie is an amazing artist, I have looked at her old GCSE work and literally gaped at it. But she hasn't painted or drawn for years. She was after college going to go to an Art Uni but decided not to go, she was also told by another artist that her work was so good that she could possibly make a successful career out of it.

This last week she started painting again for her best friend's birthday present.

Today I walked into our dining room and saw my gran looking proudly at my Auntie whilst she showed her the butterfly she had painted. She showed it to me.
It was beautiful, so precise, so eloquent, it looked as though the butterfly was about to fly out of the page. It was almost like a photograph.

I have been told constantly that I am good at art, I got an A in my GCSE so I cant be that rubbish, but what people don't understand is that every time I finish a painting and say that its crap when others say it is good, it is because I am constantly reminded of how good my Auntie is.

I admit I am good at expressing myself and she perhaps isn't but the one thing I so wish I had was her skill, she makes everything she paints look real. I wish I had that gift and then I would be able to express myself even further.

The one thing that irritates me is that she never wished to go further with her art even though she is so flawless at doing it, she could have had the chance to be a successful artist as I will never have. I dream of one day having an art studio and having my own art shop, but I know full well that my art isn't good enough for people to want to buy it.

It makes me sad that one of the one things that I count myself as being good at and passionate about is not enough when it comes down to being remembered in years time as a proper "Artist"
And because one phrase that my grandmother said to me when I told her that I had achieved an A in my art GCSE I am unable to look at every painting that I produce with pride.

"Well Elizabeth got an A* in her GCSE."