Choices

Today I got a letter.
I always get a rush of excitement when I get a letter. Despite it always being from the Bank, rather than being from Amelia or Hope, except this letter was not from the Bank nor from my two best friends.
It was from my mother.
I do get short letters from her every couple of months, of which I rip up, or leave to wander in some dusty corner of my room. I never reply. I don't know her address, I could ask my Dad, but I never bothered, I don't really have anything to say to her. Anyway, for me the word "Mum" is like having uttered a swear word in my household. With good reason.
This letter, was different. Well it gave me, a bit of a shudder.
She had given me her email address.
This may seem like nothing, but for me this is a huge conundrum.
Do I use her address, send her an email, so as not to hurt her feelings? To be the daughter she wants.
Or do I ignore it? and when I have to speak to her on the phone the next time I go to see Mrs Terrill,say it got lost in the post, or do I just speak the truth, and say I don't want to know her. Which secretly is what I truly feel like.
From the age of six, I was given the choice to meet her. I said I did. I was curious, curious to find out what kind of woman my Mother was really like, to see what kind of woman, would do that to her child then abandon them.
Now when I have so many choices, and paths to take, and a family that drives me to the brink already, I wish I said no. Then I wouldn't have to care, or include her in anything that I will ever do in my life.

What should I do?
I wish she had stayed away.
Drugs ruin lives.