Luke

Me and Luke, get on. Amazingly. I never noticed it before. How we seamlessly move from one subject to the other. I find, him a breath of fresh air. But again, I find, like those years at school how, when he hurts, I hurt.

He thinks hes a monster. He said he lost control again. After all that effort of trying to be a better person.

He is a better person, the Luke I love. But he sets his sights too high, like I set them too low, he expected that he would, with effort be as perfect as he could hope to be, to be someone good, and selfless. I tried telling him, no one is like this, but he did not take it into account.

And now, hes feeling like shit, and once again, although I do not mind, I pass on my opinion, I try and help him, to pick him up, and comfort him. Thing is, he does not listen. He punishes himself too severely to be healthy.

Thing is what he did, wasn't completely out of order, before he told me, he said I would be shocked. Nothing he tells me shocks me, for no matter what he does, I know that he does have boundaries, that he does everything for a reason, and ultimately for good.

Yet, I worry for him, and I miss him.